Just For Now

The pace of life has changed somewhat since last we spoke about something other than pop culture or travel. In fact, I’m not sure when that last was, so I’ll give you a brief update, or rather, as brief as I know how.

The hospital is still going very well. I only have about 340 hours left there, which I know sounds like A LOT, but when compared with the 1000 I started out with, feels like a few grains of rice in the pot. Also, a few weeks ago, I applied for a summer research internship elsewhere in the hospital, and I’m expected to hear back on that matching process early next week. That would give me an opportunity to do some sort of psychology related research in the hospital for the summer. And get paid for it. You can see the appeal. My hours are still overwhelming on the inpatient unit, but if I get this internship, my hours will be done by May 10, and then I can breathe easy (until the 16th, when the research starts).

A few weeks ago, I also asked for some time off from my job at the movie theater. I realized I was simply not getting my homework done anymore, and falling farther behind as bigger projects came up. It was a difficult decision, to admit that I simply can’t be superwoman and do everything all the time. I should be able to, you know? At least, that’s what my mind tells me. So backing down was tough, but I know it was for the best. I am waiting to hear back on my internship this summer, but I have no firm plans of going back, regardless of the outcome: my school is my priority, as well as my sanity.

My family is doing much better. For those I didn’t tell, which I don’t think was anyone, my brother has been in the hospital for about a month with some ongoing neurological issues, and I don’t need to being to explain how tough this has been on the rest of my family members. I have been somewhat outside of it, but it’s not easy to have both parents on the edge of a razor when you call. I don’t need my parents for much beyond support, and it was tough for everyone to adjust. My brother (Jer) is  doing better in some ways, and facing some new deficits, but that boy has the best guardian angels, so I have no doubt he’ll be back to causing trouble soon.

I have been traveling every weekend this month so far, with a similar trajectory in March. In fact, I am currently watching flights to Denver to try and go see my family. It has been relaxing, and stressful in its own ways. I’ve found that when I leave town, my weekends are much more recouperative, but much less productive. Undoubtedly this didn’t help with my homework situation, but it’s always a toss up between leisure (and mental health) and work (and mental un-health). I seem to be moving closer to a balance now.

All in all, I think I am finally moving out of my winter blues phase (knock on wood). I seem to have a better grip on what’s going on in my life, and what I need to do to keep moving forward. Of course, now the stress of graduation and What’s Next are starting to loom, but let’s leave those for another anxious post, shall we?