Exploration B

The humidity is climbing in London. First I notice it from how my legs stick together as I sit in bed, working on my computer. Then, the things on the walls start to slide. Yes, I’m sure I’m not hallucinating; everything is mounted with tape that I know has a very poor resistance to humid air. The world is slowly but surely melting.

Despite the heat, despite the way it makes me feel (like murdering the sun, if you were wondering), life is quite frankly brilliant. Things are not perfect, but in the past week, I’ve had the joy of being alive made present to me in so many ways. From the little things I add to my gratitude list each morning, to the job interview I thought went really well and the great work I’m doing at my internship (I mean, I think it’s great, though it’s all ideas and works-in-progress right now). There’s a shifting, nebulous force in my life, as friendships and relationships move around and prepare for whatever is next for me. Which, speaking of, is still a complete mystery. I don’t even know what continent I’ll be on.

Despite this, there is currently a strong sense of calm and purpose. I don’t know what I’m going to be doing, but I know I’ll be able to do it, and I’ll be able to make it work. Maybe it won’t be ideal, but frankly, I’m not totally sure what I think the ideal conclusion of this MBA might be, so I’m okay figuring that out along the way. Things, all of the things, have happened for various reasons. Most of the reasons aren’t known to me, but I know of the reasons, and that helps me feel slightly more purposeful, even if no less unsure of where I’m headed next. After all, it’s always been an adventure in my life, why would that change now?

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