I am again working to complete a meditation challenge from Oprah & Deepak at the Chopra Center for Meditation. This one, titled Desire and Destiny, is a 21-day exercise, with daily 15 minute meditations. I’m attempting to journal every day using the prompts provided in the program, and would like to share my feelings here. Not as a narrative or organized fashion, but more for my own posterity.
Day 7: Fearless Me
What is your greatest fear? Describe what it feels like. What is the inner dialogue you experience around that fear? What is the message you can give yourself to begin to gently release that fear?
As the question was asked during the meditation today, the voice of me answered spirit first with a repeated whisper, then growing into a beating base drum: “alone.” My fear of the absolute incompleteness of my own self to fend off the entirety of my existence was juxtaposed with my own aloneness ‘on the mountaintop.’ Hadn’t I gotten there of my own free will, and found myself completely serene in the singularity of myself? After all, there were no others with me, and no one had helped me get to the spot of beauty I looked out upon. How could I have such a great terror of a state which could also bring such joy? I hope to learn how to pair this feeling of contentment with my fear, as a way of facing it. Just as in exposure therapy, when I can be alone and find joy in it (let’s face it, I usually enjoy my own company), I hope to learn how to let go of my fear over time.
We connected with the song of spirit today, guiding us to remember that we are free. What in your life makes you feel free?
As I sat in meditation, I slowly worked to a feeling of freedom, though it took some time. I was reflecting on yesterday’s centering thought (‘a gift resides in every moment,’ or something like that), and realized that this applied today too–each moment was a gift which was free from the burden of my past. The only reason I feared aloneness was from having learned how scary it can be. The mistakes I have made, things I’ve left unsaid or undone which I regret, and a myriad of entirely fabricated ghosts I let haunt me have all come to be woven into the fiber of my being, making this moment much heavier than it really is. The reality is that I can let go of my past at any moment I choose, by simply taking the next moment to engage without my burdens. That was incredibly freeing to realize–the potential for my own destiny resides within me, and only me.
What are you grateful for today?
The comforts of each moment. To be warm, and clothed, and fed, and protected physically and emotionally and mentally, these are things not everyone has. They are the foundation to realize my potential, because they allow me the opportunity to see freedom in each next moment. I am grateful that I have the ‘other things’ taken care of well enough that I can spend time on aligning myself this way.
Use this space to reflect further on your experience today.
I originally thought to focus on opening my crown chakra, since it seemed like a meditation which would help elevate me. As we began the guided visualization however, I switched to opening my third eye chakra, focusing instead on taking my meditation away from verbal constraints and instead solely into visual. I think this helped me ‘see’ more in this meditation than I have in the past sessions.