Desire & Destiny: Day 21

I am again working to complete a meditation challenge from Oprah & Deepak at the Chopra Center for Meditation. This one, titled Desire and Destiny, is a 21-day exercise, with daily 15 minute meditations. I’m attempting to journal every day using the prompts provided in the program, and would like to share my feelings here. Not as a narrative or organized fashion, but more for my own posterity.

Day 21: Extraordinary Me

Deepak and Oprah invited you to reach for the stars today, to hold a big and bold vision for yourself, to unleash that deep desire you may have been holding close to your heart with such care. Take time to write about the extraordinary vision you have for yourself and your life, write with abandon! For as you see it, say it, and allow yourself to believe it – your soul sings the song that makes it so.
The hardest part of writing about myself and my desires with abandon is tuning out my fears about whether or not my desires will manifest themselves. You’d think that after three weeks of tuning into my thoughts and realizing the power of them, I’d be able to control them better, but I still struggle.
What I want is to be someone who does something that no one expected, who changes the world in a way that impacts people, even on a small level. I sometimes wonder if the job I have now could do that—I certainly think the work that we do as a company could fundamentally change the way people interact with one another, and my particular role in the country is instrumental to the success of the project.
But, I have an old friend: Doubt. Doubt tells me I am never good enough, that I’m not the right person, and that it could never be me. I wonder if famous people ever wonder that?
It’s what keeps me from being able to actualize the desires I think about and verbalize—I have a nagging sense that I’m not good enough for my own dreams, which is frankly quite silly. If I’m not good enough for my own dreams, who is?

On this last day of our journey together, how is abundance manifesting in your life today?
Opportunity—the reality of this meditation challenge is not that destiny will manifest itself in 21 days. That’s unrealistic. What I learned is how to narrow down and focus on the things I desire, and think about them in new ways. This has either lead to an actual increase in the number of opportunities in my life or, more likely, a shift in my perception which suddenly highlights the opportunities that were always there. The human mind is so powerful, to be able to do that.

What are you grateful for today?
Making it 21 days… not super consistently, but I did every session and I wrote about each one afterward!

Use this space to reflect further on your experience today.
Sleepy, so sleepy. I was definitely in a restful awakeness during the last few minutes, because I realized it just before the bell rang. Maybe that is the ultimate meditative state I’ve been aiming for all these weeks. It was a nice way to end, if so.

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